Saturday, 10 December 2016

Let The Soul Wander In Dust

In the late twenties age group of lives, the Y-Generation or the generation from the early 90's as we say, commonly experiences a phenomenon which could be termed as 'Emotional Hedonism' which some people vaguely term as 'Bipolar Disorder'(which is not exactly correct though). These are periodic mood swings ranging from extreme highs to extreme lows, or even the feeling of being social for a minute and then feeling alone in the crowd. One could feel lost and focused at the same time and still experience motivation as well as vagueness.

We could wonder why our parents never had such issues. Perhaps they belonged to a real world which was confined to a sphere they could reach. We, on the other hand, belong to a world which is governed by virtual spheres which have no boundaries. The endlessness of this world makes us feel that we have an unbounded circle of people for us, but in reality, it just secludes us from the fast paced lives and makes us feel alone. Moreover, due to this we tend to forget that there is no such thing as the ultimate happiness or ultimate sadness. Our minds are designed in such a way that when we experience incidents, we tend to feel extreme vibrations of happiness/sadness for a few minutes but after some time, our emotions adjust themselves to our normal levels of happiness, depending upon each individual.  We could wonder why however, we let them affect our normal routines, if the effects are momentary.

When I was a a kid, I used to believe that elders had the answers to all the questions anyone could ever think of. My obvious approach to a problem I couldn't solve was to consult my elders and find a solution based on their perspectives. However, sometimes I wondered if they were correct. Just like me, my elders too would have been dependent on their elders for their beliefs. So it was more of a game of perceptions. As I grew up, I realized that it wasn't just their answers but the approaches as well, that weren't absolute. There couldn't be anyone in this world who knew the answers or perceived everything objectively. We are humans, right? But then I wondered why nobody ever thought of these facts when confronted with questions. If nobody knew the answers, it simply meant that we had to find our own at any point in our lives. Yet sometimes we tend to forget that it is only we who could find the answers, as many as we can.                                                                                        
And this does not(in any way) mean that we need to follow a strict pattern to find our answers. Just as we have unique approaches, so do we have unique answers for every individual. Each one could be driven by one's own karma, one's own beliefs, one's own passions. For some, the answers could lie in a sense of purpose, for others they could exist in another world or universe. However, we have to embark a journey of our own, one that is not driven by anybody else. I believe that anyone who has never been alone for some time and done something to find one's own reflection, needs to do it once before they breathe their last. Because in our last moments, we do not remember people, we do not remember places, but we remember who we had been throughout our lives. It not only teaches us how to find our answers, to the questions that remain stuck through our minds, but also understand our lives, our experiences and ourselves. I have seen different people taking different routes to do so. But talking about the phenomenon I mentioned in the beginning, an impulsive generation like ours, has varied options, distractions as well as layers to travel inside ourselves. This doesn't make it simple though, for those who still want to figure out themselves.

                                                   

There are no rules to be followed when we pursue a journey meant to find ourselves. Who knows the rules anyway. I have seen many people following a passion which fulfills them with a sense of achievement and purpose. But for those who have none, there is something that they are still missing out-- the real world. Yes, they need to step out. Change the pattern of life that is followed and move out of it. If not forever, make a change for some time and get to know yourself. How? By getting to know the world that exists outside, the world that you still haven't seen. Step out and travel-- if not to places far away, travel nearby, perhaps to a place in your locality. For once, do not be dependent on Google Maps or Apps that answer your questions. The world still has people who could help you out. Talk to them in the real world.

One could ask how that would help. Well, since I am still an explorer, I answer this as per my observations and experiences. When we step outside, alone, and face strangers, in new places and new situations, listen to them, experience the unexpected; we are not adding to their stories for their sake, we actually witness a part of ourselves that had never appeared before. Imagine how wonderful it is to find a new dimension of yourself and say ,"Hello buddy! Never seen you before" and you get an answer, "I had always been there. Was just waiting to be found." Well, yes that reminds me of the Soul Mate theory too, which I had discussed long back, but it feels more enlightened to find various dimensions within ourselves. The best part is when we remain open to any aspect that we encounter within ourselves, because Hey who knows the rules, and it is our journey.

One thing that I have seen people holding back is fear-- the fear of unknown, the fear of being damaged, the fear of being judged. What I have learnt in my journey is that none of these fears are as huge in reality as they seemed when they held me back. And all that I found out about myself was on the other side of those fears. What is the worse that could happen? I could get lost, broken. Well, till now I have seen myself rising after every defeat, and every time, better than earlier. If we remember that after the extreme incidents, we always regain our normal state of personalities, there is nothing that could happen to us as such. We need not carry the burden of our previous experiences to find out new facets of our lives.

As for the world, opinions always exist, but they say nothing about us, they are a reflection of what people have been through and of what they perceive of our personalities. Correcting them is not our task. They are on their own journeys and need to find out their own answers, because their questions differ. What we need to think about is our courage to accept what we find of ourselves. Because believe me, when the unknown arrives, we have an inner critic continuously reminding us of our boundaries, pulling us back into our spheres, and hindering our creativity to find ourselves. Let's call this critic as 'The Other' inside our minds.

'The Other' can be calmed down, rather made to sit back, by believing that it is only and only our core values that shape our personalities, and not our past behaviours, actions or mistakes and they should never pull us down. As a matter of fact, we need to make as many mistakes as we can and we should. Also, there is no time limit to restrict them. The more we do, the more we learn, especially about ourselves. The freedom from this static ideal of ourselves can do wonders. It can introduce us to our purpose, to things that make us feel alive, not in the momentary sense, but in a stable, gradual manner of growth. Because when we allow this to happen, we start respecting our journey, our mistakes and accept ourselves with our shortcomings. Nothing in the world can match this feeling of authenticity, integrity and individuality that we find to love ourselves.

This finding makes us believe in a magical aura, which strengthens our spirits on our journeys. When we forge our own path, we do not need anybody to fulfill our purpose, because neither do we get trapped into the opinions of others, nor do we please them, and we do not even compare their journeys to ours. We simply follow our intuition and let it guide us into the unknown. We learn to forgive ourselves. The best outcome of this focus is that we not only find our new versions, but we also get compassionate towards others for their mistakes.

That reminds me of a story from the Ancient ages. A little girl in her glory experienced disasters that made her weak. She did not recognize her own abilities. One day a stranger appeared and made her believe that she was the warrior born to conquer the world. She followed him and found that she was courageous, brilliant and compassionate. He made her discover a sword that she used to fight her battles. She won all the battles and believed that his presence made her do so. One day, she lost a battle which shattered her faith in herself. However, a day came when she also got to know that he was a spy from her enemies and intended to damage her using the same sword. She continued on her journey alone and did not reveal the secret to anyone. On her journey, she met people who told her stories that reminded her of her own valour. Gradually, she rose from her flickering ashes and entered the battle field, alone this time. It took time, but eventually she won over all her enemies.

When we read this story, we find a picture of ourselves, blending into our beliefs, our core values, our behaviours. And believe me, the way it works for me, I am sure it does for others too. Making mistakes is not at all wrong, not forgiving ourselves is. We could learn from the mistakes of others, but for the important ones, we need to make them ourselves and take our time to learn from them. How else could we ever plunge ourselves into the Dark Night and find our lights guiding us to who we are.

                             "If there are storms ahead, I will know how to sail through,
                               If there is darkness ahead, I will know how to burn and shine.
                               If there is dust ahead, I will know how to absorb and blow it,
                               For I will find my dimensions, Only when my soul wanders."

Oh by the way at the end of that story, the girl finds the man among her enemies. When asked what to do with him, she said, "I do not want revenge for his mistakes. He will find about it on his journey. For mine, I am thankful that I got lost and found myself on my own." Guess what, she kept the sword, because her mistakes could not deprive her of the strength she had found, of the breeze she had found when she blew away the dust from her soul.

                                                     

  

2 comments:

  1. Wonderful Aditi.
    "You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice". One needs to be the phoenix to rise from the ashes, more powerful, more valiant. After all as you mentioned, it is our own journey, we ought to do justice with it to have no last moment regrets. Cheers! :)
    Silly Smiles... Take you Miles :)

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  2. Thanks for the review Surbhi and the appreciation. :) I especially loved the analogy of the Phoenix rising from ashes. In fact, lately I have been working on a post about it. Keep going.

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