"Me" - The Undeniable Entity With An Identity

Looking back, I realize that I've come a long way till here, just like every other person who would have started; and even if I haven't done anything different till now, I know where I stand and I take the pride and responsibility for being who I am today.

The journey, not at all easy, has been one with versatile experiences and it will continue for the rest of my life, but I am contented with what it has brought for me till now. Contented- not just for what it has offered, but for what it has not offered as well, because it helped me to learn, from mistakes and imbibe that spirit within myself to make me who I am today.

There was a time when I was afraid to make the wrong choices, to stand alone, to voice my opinion, to lose the most precious assets to me, to face setbacks, to be judged by the world. But gradually I realized that none of this was important to make me who I want to be.

My wrong choices only taught me what I should not go for, they made me stronger than before, and I got to know myself better. The times when I stood alone for myself, out of the crowd, gave me the blessed opportunity to look into myself and rejoice in my strengths that gave me the courage as well as the confidence to follow my heart, when I wanted to. I realized that it was completely alright to say what I felt in reality rather than beating around the bush.

When I felt as if I'd lost some of my most precious assets, I realized that nothing in this world is going to stay with me forever, except for myself. It is only me who has to pursue this journey, creating different stories and roads at different instances with people/possessions I get. It gave me the confidence to face hardships and let me be true to myself. I learnt that the most important thing to remember was to rely only on myself and believe that I could do all that I wanted to, if I really wanted to do it.

I realized that expressing my genuine opinions and being who I really am might not earn me many people who were always sweet, but it would definitely get me a few those who were true, and that is all that matters. Those who wanted to be with me will always find a way to do so no matter what happens. I realized that standing out of the crowd required courage, to withstand the opposition, to grasp defeats, to be patient with backstabbing, to stay sane and strong when facing immense criticism; because I would have to keep up the faith in myself to be able to wait for my chance silently, prepare for my battles, grab the chance and get my bag of worth.

I realized that the world will always mock at me for walking out of the way because changes are not easily accepted. But I also realized that it was never important to please the world and prove anything to masses who had nothing to do with my life. It is completely my life and I am the sole person responsible and accountable for anything that I do. I need not answer to others, because they were never concerned, just interested; and for them, it might be just another piece of gossip. I realized that I should prioritize time for those who matter, because others who do not respect me, are definitely not worth giving time, to let them peek into my life and analyze who I am. I realized that I need not lose heart if losers who could not get around me try to announce their baseless reasons about me to the world, because they will have nothing better to do.

I realized that I need to take my own decisions and the world will always judge me for that. People who shouldn't be bothered about this will always have something to say about me. But then I need not get affected, because when I break down, none of those people will come to hold me. It will always be myself who will get up, feel sad, learn and then get ready to walk further on the same road with my beliefs. In order to accept myself, I'll have to accept my flaws before I ponder upon them for improvement.

I realized that destiny will not always be generous enough to fulfill my dreams, but if I have the strength to keep going, then this game against mistakes and destiny will seem adventurous to me, and I will never give up, until I challenge it and get what I want. I know that when I look back to the times when I had to face hardships, I will laugh at it, because I will know that I was equally stubborn as my destiny at that time.

I realized that I will have achieved many things which only I would know in reality, and even though my success will be measured on the basis of those achievements, yet, my peaceful contentment and happiness will lie in the emotions that I will have experienced by then and in the love I will have shared with the ones who matter to me, in the emotions I will have expressed, in the risks I would have taken for those I love, in the decisions I would have taken to accept the happiness offered by those who love me, in the blessings I will have offered to those I met, and in the forgiveness I will have granted to those who might have hurt me. I realized that happiness will enlighten my soul with moments of joy, and the bliss of solitude in the wind, in those raindrops or the chill or the calmness of nights and sunrise will touch my soul and seem more rejoicing than the materialistic assets of pleasure in the long run. I have realized that the joy of finding myself when I follow my heart, of finding love, of finding a way closer to life will seem far more ecstatic than joining the crowd.

I realized that in the process of making others happy, I have the right to make myself happy too because no one else was going to do it for me. I found that happiness is an easily available prospect if I really wanted it. I realized that I have to value myself before people learn my worth, or else they were never going to find that. I realized that I have been assigned the most important responsibility for myself- to stand up for myself when the whole world was against me, because nobody else would do it for me and I have the right to do so.

I realized that I am an undeniable, unique, blessed entity who can be defined only by myself. Yes, I realized that nobody else has got the right to set norms for me and decide who I am. Yes, even though I am a part of this society, I realized that in order to live at peace with the most important person- myself(because that is all that matters), I'll have to establish my own norms and live with them. I realized that is fine to be uncertain and scared, and to be optimistic when I feel blue, both at the same time.

Though there could have been many versions of myself, I know how I became this one and how I will become the one many years later. I have realized that I exist on my own and will continue to exist in this cosmos. I am going to be the writer for my story in my way and will figure out or create my own distinct identity as I should. I realized that in order to become ME, I have to be innocent, weird, mature, responsible, childish and crazy for myself, because I am the only one who knows my journey and the only one who has the right to justify it. And somewhere in the middle of this realization, I know that I grew up to be the one who I am today, waiting to explore myself more and more each day.

All Roads Lead To Your Rome...

"Socha to maine kai martaba, yun hota to jaane kya kya hota,

  Khayal ye aaya zehen mein, yun hota to shayad  main na hota."

Each one of us, yes each one, has taken different turns and abandoned many choices to follow the road which we are walking upon now. Apparently, each one of us has also wondered at each point, on each of those roads, whether or not it was the correct one. What more, even if the one we follow now seems good enough, we have the thought at the back of our minds, if this is the one; or what if this is the wrong one again. No matter how certain we are about ourselves, we as humans sustain the fear of the unknown, which owes to the characteristic of a human.

Doesn't it happen that sometimes, when we are consistently trying to find that light out of darkness within ourselves, we wonder if our choices could have been different to lead us to some other version of ourselves? Perhaps, we all daydream at some or the other point in our lives about those 'what ifs?'. In fact, we might even create a whole new prospect of the possible parallel universes we find when following the results of those 'what ifs'.

These 'what ifs' seem to be the culprit of everything that troubles us deep inside our hearts, isn't it? And then we might wonder about an unknown venture of our days to come, concluded from those thoughts, ignoring what we know about ourselves and about our days to come. It is natural to ponder upon our mistakes, past, grievances, glories and get trapped in this maze of 'what ifs'. It is obvious to get baffled and wonder how things could have gone, which road we could have travelled, just because things seem uncertain right now.

But do you know, we often forget the simple fact that we are afraid of the unknown, no matter how gloomy the known might seem. I have realized this at many instances that we unknowingly accept what we have lived. We might wonder about changing what happened, but if we were really given a chance, we would never do so. Yes, we would never go and change the road. Reason: We are uncertain of where it would have led us.

I will tell you exactly as I have experienced this feeling. When you start complaining about how you have become or start feeling low about something, when you get trapped in those possibilities of 'what ifs', remember this. If you don't believe me, just sit for a moment and think about your life. Ask yourself and notice what answer you give.

"Is there anything in life that you regret?" You might say yes.
"Is there anything you want to change, given a chance?" You might say yes and even suggest the changes to yourself.
Now ask yourself, what you could have done if those changes were made. It might take a moment, but you will find that you actually do not want to change anything. Why? Because in your current situation, you know who you are, what you have done, what you can do, what you should do and what you shouldn't. But any other possibility brings an unclear picture to yourself and after a minute of thinking, you realize that the place where you are right now, is the way it should have been, because from here, you will be able to pursue your journey, in your best possible way.

The truth that follows is that none of us really wants to change anything about what happened. Deep inside, we are comfortable with and proud of who we are today, no matter how many mistakes we made. We can justify ourselves for everything that happened on the way, and somehow it gives us the strength to move further on our present road. We will also agree that if it hadn't been for those moments and roads, we wouldn't have become who we are today, and we wouldn't have known our flaws, strengths, possibilities in depth. May be, we wouldn't even have known what to do and what not to do.

In the light of this point, we can finally smile at ourselves and believe that no matter what choices we make, we know better how to reach where we want to go, and we will be there, because no one else knows it better. Of course, making mistakes is a part of learning what we should not do and this knowledge has come from what we have already lived, in the way it was meant to be. Shouldn't we give up regretting what happened, then? It is time to love everything that life has given us and will give us, without complaints.

Once we have found our actual road, we will know that it is the one. At that time, we might not feel scared to leave our comfort zone, step out, face the odds and remove the darkness, even if it takes time for us to see that light; because we will know that the collected cobwebs within ourselves have been finally identified and will take a while to be removed once we have our light. The destined road will eventually be found from the one we walk upon now, because the journey is planned by someone up in another world. So no matter which ones we take, all those roads will lead us to our Rome. Have faith in yourself!

Sometimes I wonder...

Sometimes I wonder if the world is an illusion,

Portraying lights through a sustained delusion,

Then I wonder if it will remain forever this way,

Letting every memory in place and every trace stay.

Sometimes I wonder if beliefs can be strong,

Managing to survive when things go wrong,

Then I wonder if dreams can come true,

Keeping the faith alive when I feel blue.

Sometimes I wonder if there exists a light,

Which makes my soul wander every night,

Then I wonder if those places will be mine,

Which seem to be more than a shrine.

Sometimes I wonder if hopes are hallucinations,

Mere fantasies of hazy visions and imaginations,

Then I wonder if faith brings that intuition,

Bridging realities to the invisible world in fusion.

Sometimes I wonder where happiness abides,

In past, present or in imagination of strides,

Then I wonder if moments just come and fly,

Bringing bliss to experience as they pass by.

Sometimes I wonder if life will just move,

Come to an end this way being mortal to prove,

Then I wonder if it will bring something new,

Which might be just mine and remain true.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just a loner,

Intending to wander, seeming a groaner,

Then I wonder if invisible forces remain,

Being different, guiding me through every lane.

Sometimes I wonder if I dwell among the masks,

Which cover shrewd people behind their tasks,

Then I wonder if I am wise enough as well as strong,

To defeat the culprits on my own and be aware of the wrong.

Sometimes I wonder if struggles are between smiles and tears,

Each moment being a lifetime of battles to overcome fears,

Then I wonder if I can smile at foolishly planned strategies again,

Waiting for my chance to attack and see them getting destroyed in vain.

Sometimes I wonder if mistakes are continuous,

Proving me wrong without being superfluous,

Then I wonder if they are just overdone allegations,

Pointed to shatter self-trust using those accusations.

Sometimes I wonder if the world is materialistic,

Unaware of the depths while being pessimistic,

Then I wonder if the hint dwells in the innocence,

Struggling inside every heart to show the presence.

Sometimes I wonder if journeys continue,

When the road diverges leaving no clue,

Then I wonder if all roads bend,

To lead through journeys to the desired end.

Sometimes I wonder if I should join the crowd,

Follow what others do and feel proud,

Then I wonder that only clouds get carried in a cyclone,

The moon and the sun stay intact even if alone.

Sometimes I wonder if I am more of a mystery,

That will remain misunderstood, unsolved and become a history,

Then I wonder if it is just an idea which is hollow,

Propagated by so-called great minds which are shallow.

Sometimes I wonder if my world really exists,

Feeling as if it is only in my mind that it persists,

Then I wonder if there have been just few,

Who could believe in a higher world anew.

Sometimes I wonder if all actions give an equal result,

Weighing justice and injustice unveiling the occult,

Then I wonder if noble thoughts give way to bliss,

Creating a possible world of an impossible wish.

Sometimes I wonder if desires never end,

Because human minds follow that trend,

Then I wonder if hopes make hearts beat,

Curbing storms by a blessed retreat.

Sometimes I wonder if people forget their existence,

Struggling to find themselves for remembrance,

Then I wonder if emotions are what they possess,

Trying to hide from this world they want to impress.

Sometimes I wonder if I will win my battles,

To know how to blow off surrounding shuttles,

Then I wonder if I am that undefeated warrior,

Just like those who can cross every barrier.

Sometimes I wonder if I really belong to this world,

Fighting to prove myself through events all curled,

Then I wonder if I am the one out, meant to stay alone,

To change this world or to find the one that's my own.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just another tale,

Meant to live each chapter, glorious or pale,

Then I wonder if one day I will leave a mark,

Shown to find every way out of the dark.

Sometimes I wonder if the world will remember me,

With a joy or a sorrow when my soul becomes free,

Then I wonder if they will find me in every trace,

Because I will remain with my loved ones through an embrace.

Interstellar - Brilliantly depicts human emotions against space and time dimensions..

Interstellar, yes that's the name of the movie. Literally, the word means 'among or between the stars'. That's what it is about, which reminds me of one of the dialogues from the movie - "We used to look up at the sky and wonder about our place in the stars." But that's not the only thing which the movie shows. Thanks to Christopher Nolan for presenting the ideas of some probable, thrilling, unseen concepts in in a Sci-Fi movie in such a beautiful way, the Nolan way, actually.

Interstellar is not just about space travel. It is an amazingly thrilling blend of human emotions, the race against time for love and hope, and the faith that remains regardless of the hardships and setbacks. It shows how humans retain their behaviour and unexplained ideologies no matter how logical they get, whether it is explained by science or not. Yet, the approach of those emotions is scientific in some ways and that is what makes the movie remarkable.

It is the story of a daughter's undying faith in her father's words no matter how odd things turn out to be, even when she doesn't want to believe. It is the story of love between two or more humans, existing beyond time. It is the story of human rage and hopes, beautifully depicted in odds.

One might be awed by the amazing depiction of science, unknown planets and galaxies, the way spaceships work and how astronauts survive or by the perfect pilot-cum-engineer in Cooper's character. Of course all this makes one glued to one's place, but what makes it easy to understand is the human behaviour and psychology showed by the characters.

There are so many instances in the movie where one might wonder whether they are watching a Sci-Fi or an emotional movie and those emotions will make one feel the jitters. Be it the scenes where Cooper's attachment with his daughter Murphy is shown or be it the strong but emotional women shown in the characters of Dr. Brand and Murphy(later). Some scenes and dialogues are so beautifully blended with the touching music score by Hans Zimmer. His repeated efforts for the music has come up as a masterpiece. The background score adds to the feeling behind the scenes.

The dialogues are perfectly written and delivered by the characters and add to the value of the story. The main strength is the bond shown between Cooper and Murphy, much more than just a father-daughter relationship, it extends beyond time, space, galaxies and ages. The faith Murphy had in her father's words and promise, which she keeps believing would bring him back and that he would help everybody. The part where Cooper tells Amelia "When you become a parent, one thing becomes really clear. And that's that you want to make sure your children feel safe" is heart touching.

It is the depiction of the common faith human beings have in their loved ones, the foundation of love. Some of the best scenes are where Cooper and Murphy interact and where her faith remains despite the odds. The concept of love and hope over science is shown by Dr. Amelia Brand's character too, where she believes that love, an unexplained entity by science, might be unknown, but should be followed, because it travels beyond time and space, just like gravity.

The odds in human behaviour are also shown very well, especially, in the part where Dr. Mann's character is shown to be selfish to escape leaving others behind. There is trust between the astronauts and the robots which behave like humans at some instances. Bonds being built on the unknown journey, care for fellow astronauts and giving up one's own interests, thinking about humanity first, accepting mistakes and correcting them honestly, the trust built between Amelia and Cooper and the way they protect each other is beautiful, Yes, this movie shows it along with all the logical concepts.

Another remarkable dialogue from the movie by Cooper is " We've always defined ourselves by the ability to overcome the impossible. And we count these moments. These moments when we dare to aim higher, to break barriers, to reach for the stars, to make the unknown known. We count these moments as our proudest achievements. But we lost all that. Or perhaps we've just forgotten that we are still pioneers. And we've barely begun. And that our greatest accomplishments cannot be behind us, because our destiny lies above us."

The scenes explaining wormholes, black holes and time dilation are nicely done. The scene especially where Cooper finds messages over a span of 23 years and comes to know about his children is really touching. So, is the one where he meets her again, when she is about to die and he is logically 124 years old, but actually about the same age as he was, or the scenes wherever they feel their connection will make one get the feels.

The most thrilling part of the movie is the climax where the artificial black hole leads to the five-dimensional space of Murphy's bedroom, which shows time as a physical dimension and infinite frames in three-dimensions are present just to let us realize that the future can be made by humans. The part which gives goosebumps here(along with the beautiful soundtrack) is when Cooper realizes the importance of the unexplained power of love and faith and transmits the necessary data to his daughter, thus keeping his promise.

And then, when the movie ends, one knows that even though the father and the daughter saw each other for the last time, yet some promises and bonds, travel beyond time and space, because as quoted by Dr. Amelia Brand's character in one scene,
 "Love is the one thing that transcends time and space, just like gravity."

And one knows that this was the soul of the story, behind everything that existed between Cooper and his daughter or when Amelia, alone in another galaxy, is being approached by Cooper, because they are the ones who survived as they were, due to time dilation.

This is a movie where every second will be amazing and thrilling. And when one walks out after it has ended, one knows the intensity of the impact it has left on the heart, faith, hope and love, no matter which age of humans. It retains the faith of worlds beyond galaxies and fantasies, and the belief that humans will reach there, while sustaining their values.

And there is a beautiful inspirational old poem by Dylan Thomas, which is quoted at various touching instances by old Professor Brand's character:

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,

Because their words had forked no lightning they

Do not go gentle into that good night,

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

Of course, I have already watched the movie thrice in two days just to get the feels again and again, with the soundtrack, on repeat mode. I had waited for it and I'm glad that it is one of the few movies that I would love to watch again and again. After those 2 hours and 50 minutes, it took me 2 days to come back to the present, because I was shaken and still felt as if I had lived a lifetime when I watched it, personally because some concepts were very close to me.

We All Belong To The Hit And Trial Approach

It has been 6 years since I left school. Yet, it was a coincidence that today(November 1) on the Founder's Day of my school, when that thought was nowhere in my mind as I had been thinking about the life I live now (which is far different from what I had thought when I was a student); I could relate a simple concept learnt way back in Algebra classes with the prominent aspects in my current phase. Weird, probably, yet it is the truth.

Remember Linear Equations in n variables and the Hit And Trial Method, where we had to keep on solving the problem till we got the correct answer? It used to seem like the biggest achievement of this world at that time if we could do that in one attempt, which rarely happened back then. And what if the answer was wrong, did we go and look for errors in the middle of our solution? No, we simply solved them again and kept on trying till the correct answer was found. Did we ever realize that we as human beings do the same thing in our lives as well? No, because even if we did the same to solve those problems, it did seem tedious and exhausting to us, and somewhere in our hearts, we would have promised ourselves never to follow the same approach in our lives, had we given it a thought. Yet, unknowingly, we still use the same method that we learnt in Algebra because somehow it got settled in our minds or may be because humans are made that way, be it the ancient age or the advanced one.

The practical implementation of this unnoticed approach had begun in our school lives as well, not just to approach problems, but to approach situations and people as well. How often have we realized that we always look for a fellow human being to practise communication in some or the other form, since we are blessed by the Universe to be able to convey our ideas. And it is a fact, that no matter how introvert/shy/silent/aloof a person might be, at some point one would look around for somebody to converse with. May be to share a simple idea or a silly joke, or may be just to talk about irrelevant points so that we can escape from the relevant ones for a while, or to directly communicate what stays inside our hearts. Don't we do that?

And in this conquest of communicating our ideas lies an unaccepted yet justified fact, that we as humans are always on the lookout for a fellow being, no matter in which form. The most obvious form is of course friendship. We all begin to find a companion around us, no matter how short-termed the communication might be. And being humans, we invest more of our efforts in avenues where we want a long-termed bond, no matter in which form, be it with our siblings, cousins, neighbours, co-passengers on a journey, soul mate, or a friend. We forget that we are alone on our journey and give in ourselves to establish and maintain those bonds, because they are valuable for us.

The same goes for our dreams and aspirations. Isn't it true that most of us had thought something to do in our lives which we could never do, whatever be the reason? May be it was a wrong choice we had thought of as a child or may be situations compelled us to pursue a different road than the one we had imagined to follow. We give in our best to walk on the road which we find and it might turn out to be the wrong one. Who knows that in those trials, we find the correct road which would lead us to our destination.

This is where we experience setbacks, disappointments, happiness, failures too, because just like those mathematical problems, getting the correct solution in one attempt is never the case. Sometimes, the equations don't seem to work out between them and us; at other times, we have feasible solutions, but they are not applicable to the situations we face, or probably we realize that the equation is invalid because things didn't turn out to be as they seemed at some point. This is not just a Linear Equation, because the ones who undergo Hit And Trials are not variables, but we as persons. It should disappoint us. We should probably give up undergoing the same method again and again, only to get broken and then to recollect ourselves, and try again.

I always feel that this can never be predicted. We are part of a continuously active energy sphere, the vibrations of which keep changing. We never know and will never be able to understand  how human relationships keep changing their dimensions. I term this as the concept of 'The Changing Dimensions of Relationships'. At some point, we are a part of it, at yet another point, we play a role in deciding this factor.

If we take a look into our lives, it is so common, and surprisingly, it is often neglected. People or wishes which had once been important to us may not be near us any more in the same sense. They might have walked away by their own will leaving us baffled. Some might have left us and others might have been left by us. People and dreams which had never seemed the ones to get along with may be the ones we now get along well with.

And further, there might be times when those which had once become strange would come back and be the same to us, as if nothing had gone wrong, while those who had been sometime with us may fade away. It depends on situations and our reactions as well, how those dimensions change. We can forgive, forget, remember, love, laugh, live, cry and bleed as per our desires; taking it as the result of actions by any of us. It is destined for reasons we may never understand.

We can only keep going with the changes in dimensions for relationships with people as well as situations around us. We are mere characters playing our parts, and getting used to whatever comes in the way, because one more thing to remember is that these dimensions are always changing, temporary, hence I call them 'Changing Dimensions of Relationships' with every single person in our vicinity or dreams in our hearts.

But do we give up? Or do we even change the approach? NO. We follow the same Hit And Trial Method and keep on doing it till we get our correct answer in any form. May be on a quiet evening like this or on a night which seems silent while there is noise inside our minds, we analyze back the equations which we had tried to solve at some point in our lives, be it our friends, relationships, aspirations or dreams. We may find that we as humans are very hopeful. We always try to look for a ray of light deep inside our hearts despite the odds, and we don't stop looking till we find our ray. And may be then, we realize that Hit And Trial approach of Algebra has never left us, because it is then that we remember that it is our journey, meant to be pursued by us, while we always keep trying to establish a bond with the people around us or with the dreams inside us, in an attempt to find ourselves, and we still smile at ourselves because we know that we will keep trying till we get our correct answer to the Linear Equation. Isn't it?  ;)

The Silver Pendant (A Story)

I can see her walk away from her father and shut the door in distress. She had an argument with her father again. It hasn't been like that always, but there are some aspects of life which are too complicated to understand when one does not know the realities. Yes, realities are too twisted at times and nobody but the one who knows them completely can possess the courage to accept them.

But she does not anything about those realities and I, being the one who has been with her since she was born, know it better that she is unaware of the reasons why her existence is questioned so much. Yet, I support Arindam, her father, because I know that he is not wrong; because I know that he has seen this world, because I know that he wants to protect her. All his life, he has been doing that- trying to protect her from the world.

She has been a darling to Arindam and she loves him back the same way. More than that, she respects him for the efforts that he has put in to raise her alone. She understands that he has not just been a caring and responsible father, but her best friend and guide too; and she has always loved him the most in this world. But...as this but always comes...she does not understand why there is no presence of her mother's memoirs in this house.

She does not get it why her father avoids talking about her mother. She, being a girl, has always craved for the love of her mother, but it seems as if destiny had other plans for her.

Even though her father has never let her feel lonely, she thinks that she can no longer stay unaware of her mother's whereabouts. It has been very often now that she demands the story of her mother from her father and today is one such day. Some times, I wish I could speak so that I would at least help her to get rid of a small portion of the pain that she hides in her heart. But how could I? Only in some fairy tale or in a dream I might get some magical powers to speak and then I could narrate everything that she wants to know. I wish that happens, for it will be another journey for me to explore. As of now, I am a mere silver pendant close to her heart ever since she was born. Even if she thinks of me as a pendant, I have seen her as my only friend always because she gifted to me a world which I love, unlike the world from where I came.

'Vrinda'. Yes, Arindam has given her this beautiful name, which is also a part of his name. He has wanted her to be a part of his existence since the day he found her. It has always seemed to the world that she is a part of his cells too. He had always been lonely. I have been the only one who knows him since he was a child. I was a pendant back then too, but I belonged to somebody else at that time. Yes, I belonged to the warden at the orphanage. I was her only priced possession, which traces back to another story I know, but for now, I belonged to her.

Being an orphan, his life had been full of struggles. He was always surrounded by boys who would find pleasure in stealing money, or some who would invite him to enjoy with momentary pleasures that would ruin his life. But he knew that he would never like to live this way. He knew that he wanted to live like so many other children whom he saw when their parents came to his orphanage to adopt his fellow beings. He wanted to take the best opportunity to stand on his own feet and create a world of his own. He often dreamt of a family of his own. He never wanted to be caged in some unknown house, so he never tried to behave properly when families came to talk to him.

As a result, the orphanage authorities always considered him to be stubborn and seldom payed heed to his cravings for affection. He found his solace of peace only in his 'Warden Aunty'. She would listen to Arindam and understand his dreams. She would encourage him to follow his heart. She would appreciate him for his efforts and would tell him stories that she had heard in her childhood. He did not know who named him Arindam and he would often wonder about it, until his Warden Aunty would call him. Yes, she was not less than a mother for him. He often dreamt of staying with her once he achieved something in his life.

Time is the fastest entity in this universe. It has always been. I saw Arindam growing up as a man with a kind and generous heart, despite his sufferings. I saw him study hard to fulfill his dreams. I saw him cry in despair. I saw him smile when he got his scholarship. I saw him leaving the premises to become a successful doctor. I saw him promising his Warden Aunty to come back one day and take her with him to their own place. And then he left.

His Warden Aunty missed him whenever she looked at children and wanted to see him again. She believed that he would come one day. But she did not know that she would not be there for him when he came. I remember that dreadful night too. When she was alone in her room. It was raining very heavily. All the children were asleep already. The thunderstorm outside the room was scary enough to make anyone stay awake, but none could dare step outside. Yet, a dark figure moved towards her room.

She was about to close the door but the other person was fast enough. And then I saw the lights going out. Next what happened, I could never find words to describe it. All I knew is that I heard her moan in pain. I heard her cry and shout. I heard her struggle with all the might that she had and I heard her give up and surrender in the end, until the beast left her in despair. I saw the lights coming back. I saw the devil. He warned her to remain silent and left.

In a few moments of devilish desires, her dignity was ruined. But this did not end there. He was a regular visitor, who did all that he wanted to with her, whenever he felt like. The person was a known one. He would come as a financer to the orphanage in daylight and as a devil at night. He would be a saint to the world and a nightmare to her. After many days of horrible experiences, she left the place. And nobody knew that she was planning to take a revenge on him by deciding to bring his roots into this world. Yes, she had gained courage to bring his child into the world and show to everybody his real face. All she needed to do was see Arindam, his dear son-like Arindam, as soon as she could.

And he came one day. He came to the orphanage to take her Warden Aunty with him. He was now a successful doctor. He owned a house for the world he wanted to create, of his own. But he did not find her. All that he found was a letter given to him by the watchman, the only thing that his Warden Aunty had left for him. And after he read it, all he wanted to do was to find her. He tried his best to find her wherever he thought she could be, but he couldn't. All his efforts had failed. And he was again left alone in this world. He did not know what to do with his new found world without his Warden Aunty.

But she had to meet him too. Because Arindam was not the only one trying to find her. And that is how it happened. I remember the moment when the devil came to know of her plans to bring his reality to the world and started to look for her to destroy her remains. He found her. But she was lucky enough to escape and reached the orphanage where the watchman told her that Arindam had come and gave her his address. She wanted to reach there as quickly as possible, in her state of pain. She knew that she would not survive. I remember the painful expressions on Arindam's face when he took her to the hospital. I remember the moment when she handed over her daughter in his hands. I remember her last words, "Make her live and one day tell her who she is." I remember the moment when she handed her diary and me to Arindam. And then she left the world. I remember that night when Arindam brought me and this little girl home. I remember how he cried like a child who had just lost his mother. I remember his determination when he looked at the girl and at me.

But that was the last time, I saw him crying until today. Yes, he never cried after that. His whole world was confined to the girl whom he named 'Vrinda', a part of his own existence. She was an angel in his dark life. She was not just his daughter, but his life as well. He could not imagine a day without her. He would never see her in despair. All he wanted was to protect her from the world. He was her best friend, her guide, her only companion. And life was beautiful for them. He never let their dark past cast a shadow upon her existence.

And she grew up into a beautiful, brilliant, decent young lady whom every father would be proud of. She felt blessed that she was Dr. Arindam's daughter. She felt on cloud 9 because her father was the best father anybody could ever have. He never let her feel lonely. I knew that Arindam did not want her to feel like an orphan. He knew the pain. So all she knew was that her mother passed away after giving birth to her. She never asked more. Her father was her biggest asset and she did not want to make him feel sad. There had been times when she wanted to know why they did not have any relatives or why there were no signs of her parents' memoirs together or why there was not a single photograph of her mother. But she let those doubts remain in her heart till she had a reason to find that. She often had the urge to know about her mother, but she did not want to hurt her father. All she knew was that I was her mother's only treasure for her and she preserved me like a star close to her heart.

Time travelled like earlier and she grew up to the day when she decided to find somebody for her and she wanted her father to be happy about it. Arindam met, Krish, the man whom his daughter had chosen. He found him perfect for her and the proceedings for the marriage began. Although, he knew that he would be left alone but he remembered the promise he had made to his Warden Aunty and also his daughter's happiness, he had to choose between the two. He was in a dilemma.

Everything was fine, until Krish's mother insisted upon knowing Vrinda's past, because she knew that Arindam was not married. She questioned and insulted Arindam in front of Vrinda and Krish. He still remained silent and it was then that Vrinda burst out her anger on her father. It was painful to see him being questioned by his own daughter, his darling angel. But what broke her patience was the fact that her marriage was cancelled due to her questioned existence.

"Tell me dad, am I your daughter? What happened to my mother? Did you leave her? Why do I never see anything about her? Do you know that I feel hurt? Am I illegitimate? Tell me! Don't stay silent now!"

But he did not speak up and she left the room in distress. He got up and entered her room. And now I see Vrinda reading the letter he gave to her and her mother's diary. I see her getting everything from the beginning. I see her crying like a small child. I see him consoling her. And I see her apologizing.

"You raised me out of your duty. I am sorry dad! You never had a family because of me. I am so selfish dad. I am sorry that I hurt you. I love you dad!"

All he says is, "I raised you out of love. You are my family Vrinda. I am sorry about your marriage. I will do anything to fix it all."

"No dad, I want to find that devil first. I want to ruin his life. I want to fulfill my mother's desire."

"I know. I have found out about him. He is a famous businessman now. I have the courage to challenge him if you are with me my dear. I just want to protect you."

"I am there dad. I am there always."

I see a ray of light in this darkness spreading across the room, the light for Arindam and Vrinda. The light of his Warden Aunty that would guide them all along.....

                                                  *****************************************************************

I have witnessed the struggles that Arindam and Vrinda faced, the battles that they have fought together, the hopes that they have given to each other, and the courage that they have mustered up to face the devil, to confront him legally. They were noble, they had suffered, they had the will to show his reality to the world. I see the media covering the news about the famous businessman being proved gulity of the Warden's rape after the DNA reports were declared positive. I see Vrinda crying out of happiness for her mother who brought her into this world and for her father who had raised her. I feel proud to be a part of their lives. They have won the biggest battle of their lives.

And she had realized that her father is her only best friend and loves her more than anybody else in the world. I felt proud when she answered Krish today, "The fact that my existence was questioned was enough for you to step back, but the fact that a famous businessman is the one whose blood I share brought you back. I am sorry Krish. I cannot forget that my real father is the one who has given up everything for me in his life. And the ones who do not respect him cannot expect respect from me either. I don't think you are the right one for me. I am sure my father will find my man. Dr. Arindam he is if you can remember."

I see tears in Arindam's eyes which he does not try to hide. I see Vrinda taking me in her hands and looking up to the sky with tears. She walks upto him and I see that they love each other so much that I realize- A Father and a daughter need not share the same DNA to love each other.

The Awaited Miracle

It was a day full of darkness around,

He was a star lost in twilight abound.

When he saw an aurora of light,

It was her essence that seemed bright.

He watched her everyday for years,

He saw her beautiful smiles and tears.

But she did not know that he existed,

She remained where her past persisted.

Then came the day when they had to depart,

He still did not think that feeling would drift apart.

But destiny made her cross his way,

Yes right there on that very last day.

And though she eyed him feeling strange,

He caught her attention for a change..

Since that day they got to know each other,

Yes when they could have been just another.

She found a miracle in him like a blessing,

He found the peace in her refreshing.

And then she unknowingly found her soul mate,

He did not know she fell for a love so great.

They shared their worlds being the only lights,

Their secret companions were those enchanting mid nights.

They made innocent promises as their only remains,

And wished for some dreams to travel the same lanes.

She travelled the world being only his,

He remained back there unaware of that bliss.

And though he remained the same always,

She lived him forever in her own ways.

He thought she was meant for somebody,

She wanted only him and nobody.

Now they remain together yet far apart,

Carrying a bliss in each heart.

And she madly loves the one who used to see her,

Wishing that someday he would know why they came together.

Girls Are Stronger Than They Seem To Be ( A Short Story)

So often, it happens when we are made to look into ourselves, into what we have lived just to find answers for some irrelevant questions in the present. That is what she felt at that moment. She wondered how the little girl asked a question of such depth. Her silence was broken by the timid voice of her niece again, "Tell me aunty, why do girls have to bear so much pain inside and outside?"

It was an innocent question yet she wondered what answer she could give to the girl as her little fingers moved over the lines that she read from the newspaper "Young girl, aged 10, brutally murdered after being raped" and her curious face looked at the woman who could give her the answer that she wanted the most.

*********************************************************

And then she travelled back into her past. Somewhere back in her childhood, she had come back to home from school one day, with a question in her mind. A question that had made her think too much about why she was different from others. She had headed straight towards the lady who could give her all the answers that she sought back then. And she did not need to explain her dilemma for her mother could already see that something disturbed her little daughter.

"What is it my dear?"

"Mom, what are you afraid of the most in this world?"

"Why this question suddenly?"

"No. First tell me what are you afraid of the most in this world, mom?"

"Of watching my little angel afraid of doubts."

"Mom! I mean the things, objects?"

"There is nothing that is actually scary, is there?"

She seemed contented with the reply. She had always been taught that nothing in the world was scary and one could easily win over one's fears.

"Now tell me what happened that this question came up?"

"Today our Moral Science teacher, Mrs. Matthews, asked us the same question."

"And?"

"Everybody gave some answer that was about a thing/being. Somebody was afraid of a lizard, others of darkness or water or height, or of some elder, or even of ghosts! But mom, there are no ghosts, isn't it? And lizards, darkness, or anything is not something we should be afraid of, isn't it mom?"

"Of course my girl. These are not to be afraid of. You are a brave girl, isn't it? And there are no ghosts. So what did you say?"

"I did not know what I am afraid of. I couldn't think of anything. Then I thought of you. I can't think of being without you mom, or without dad, or without people who love me. I told her that I am afraid of losing my loved ones."

She had paused and looked at her mother, who smiled at her.

"But everybody in the class thought that I lied to them because I should be afraid of something around me. Nobody believed that I am not. I am not scared of ghosts, darkness, lizards, insects, dogs, animals..just nothing. I said the truth."

"I believe you my dear. And you are absolutely right. These things are not to be afraid of. We can always win over them".

She had felt contented with the reply. At least her mother agreed and that was all that mattered. She had asked again.

"But mom, is that weird that I am afraid only of losing my loved ones? Should I try not to think about this fear? Is it stupid?"

And her mother had again given her the most unforgettable reply, " It is natural and it is good that you have a fear of something to be actually afraid about. Never fear to think about your fears. The more you think, the more you will get to know that there is nothing that you can't win over. And the more you will realize that you are strong, very strong. God has made you a girl. And girls are the strongest beings you know. It is not stupid. And one day, you will know that you can overcome this fear too. Girls are made to go through everything that strengthens them. But till then, it is good to accept your fear. You are a very brave girl I know."

"Strong? But mom Anshu always says that he is stronger than me."

"Oh, come on my dear. He is still a kid", and they had winked at each other.

Ever since that day, she had come to realize it every second that girls are stronger than they seem to be. And with her own experiences, she had also realized that her fear of losing her loved ones was the only fear that was worth it. She was really not afraid of anything else in this world. She had seen her grow as a lady of strengths and each day she had got to learn something new about her strengths. In fact, eventually facing the fear of losing the ones she loved, be it some of her very good friends or in love, she had seen people walk away or people she knew who had passed away; she even got to realize that leaving apart the physical pain that God had created for girls so many times, girls had the power to face anything, no matter how much they did not want to face it, and then go through emotional breakdowns, pain and then recollect their souls and face the world again with a smile, being stronger than before. And yet, they never complained. She had got to know that those fears remained only till she was afraid of them. Else, she could face anything, yet stand alone, to support others who needed her. And then those fears would melt away and her beliefs would bring strength and happiness to her being. She had seen herself each day.

*******************************************************

And now it did not seem surprising to her when she heard a similar question from her niece after 19 years. It was her turn to reply and she turned to her intending to give the same reply that her mother had given her and that she had learnt till now.

"..........and somewhere inside, the people in this world agree that we girls are strong. Very strong. God has made us that way. And the ones who make us test our patience or strength are the ones who are weak, because they can't judge and rule their desires, because they don't value our blessings, because they don't realize our worth and the sufferings we undergo when we are connected with them, when we bring them to this world and then nurture their lives. We keep walking with that strength and faith to nourish the lives around us in every form that we live, be it as a sister, a daughter, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a sibling, a friend or a soul mate. They are very weak and give in to the world around them, but we don't. That is why we hear something like this everyday. It is those devils who are weak. Didn't you read this completely? Who do you think was stronger?"

She got her reply with a genuine smile.

"So are we strong enough not to be afraid of them my dear?"

"Yes aunty. We are girls", she got a confident reply.

And in the end, she knew she had given an answer which had made the little girl happy and contented. And she also knew why she was different from others like her. In her childhood, she saw her own and she knew she had created one more girl like her.

20+ is not just the most critical but the most thrilling phase of life as well!

Okay, this post is not going to be biased. Initially you can say that it is not just 20+ but every other phase of life that is decisive, critical and scary. I won't disagree for we feel that in every age. But why I say that for 20+ has a reason; and here I am talking about both men and women for what they experience. Before you enter the world outside, when you are either in your school or college, being in your late teens or when you have just turned 18, life is a little different. You are always surrounded either by your friend circle or by your family. In fact, there is a definite sphere in which you live everyday. You follow a specific routine. Even if you feel low, confused or lonely, you have somebody or the other to be with. Moreover, the issues that you face are not so critical even if they are the decisive points, because there is always an alternative or may be you know there is still time.

The real creepiness comes when you finally leave that comfortable zone, your place, that definite sphere of known people and the stable routine. You have to work things out alone because everybody you had with you have probably walked ahead or may be have already figured things out. Being in your teens or 18+ seems like a long lost phase for which you crave because life seemed to have been much simpler back then. Somehow, worrying about the usual problems between friends or about the boring assignments seems better than worrying about handling the complicated relationships with people you hardly know, or faking out yourself everyday outside at the workplace for something you really don't want to do seems to tear you apart, making you feel like escape from this kind of a life.

Career seems to be the most disturbing aspect because you know that you are no longer in school or college where you could think of another alternative in case one did not seem to be your passion. It is the critical time when you finally need to understand your actual dreams and figure out their compatibility with the world around you. You know it is too late to perform hit-and-trial by now. The complications arise when you know that your loved ones expect a lot from you and you may not want to do it their way. You have a different perception and you hardly have time to prove yourself now. The pressure comes from peers too if you are on a different track. By now, they are already busy in their own lives. You meet occasionally like earlier but your issues need to be tackled by yourself. You might see some of your closest friends being settled for their chosen roads while you are still struggling to find out what you want to do. You might even have to abandon your past completely and start afresh, giving up people who stabbed you, friends who turned out to be fake and creating a whole new version of yourself again.

Relationships seem to disturb you more. You might have differences with the opinions that your family has about you and your aspirations or about the way you lead your life. You hardly get time to escape from your work which seems to drain all the positive vibes from you and refrains you from being who you want to be, which you have probably forgotten. You miss your old days, you want to go back and stay peacefully with your loved ones again. You feel as if you are already old and tired. You feel lonely but struggling with yourself, you might be alone. By the age of 20+, average men and women have faced at least two break ups after having given in all their efforts.(Except the lucky ones who find the right ones in their first attempt and stay together). The result being that they either feel too tired of finding somebody again to go through that series of putting efforts, getting shattered and then rebuilding themselves or they have probably given up the thought of being with somebody and prefer to stay single throughout. Some even try to explore the world everyday giving up everything else around them and try to blend themselves into the different spheres around them for a short duration, in an attempt to find themselves. Others just drag with their lives or give up the usual way getting a totally different direction.

By the time you realize what you really want to do, you know you are lagging behind in the race and then you somehow manage to chase it successfully. Following what you have figured out, you even manage to find somebody for yourself, probably realizing how it came to that point. By your late 20's, you know what you are meant to be and probably by your early 30's, you have got a normal routine and a settled life which of course brings more responsibilities but somehow you are contented to be in a comfortable sphere again with issues of its own because now you find it better. After all, life goes on and every sphere brings its own pros and cons.

But looking back, you will surely agree that 20+ brought the most thrilling phase of your life and made you find yourself making you choose the most important roads of your life, probably the most unexpected ones where life turned different in reality. So, if you are in 20+ and experiencing all this, don't give up, don't be shattered. It is just another phase. Enjoy the thrill and challenge yourself everyday. You will look back, miss it and be proud of it one day too! :)

Journeys are always more beautiful than destinations

We all are on a journey, take it as the collection of the journeys that we pursue everyday or as the ultimate journey of life. Agreed? Some of these journeys are chosen by us. We have beautiful plans for them. However, there are some which are not chosen by us. Some turns of life make us pursue them unwillingly. The more we try to escape this fact, the more we will be made to face it that somewhere or the other, we are mere travellers in this cosmos, unaware of the people we may meet or the places we may see on our roads.

Everyday when we step out in the world with the beginning of a new day, do we know what will happen or whom we will meet? No, because that is also a journey. We might travel only for a short distance to our workplace but  that in itself contains a beautiful journey. We are with ourselves consciously for that time. Those short-termed precious moments are the ones where we are alone, without having to worry about the day or the past or the future. Those are the moments gifted as a boon to look into ourselves, think about ourselves and feel blessed by the beauty of life, no matter what the circumstances might be. When we take a look around in this short journey, we might notice subtle details of life which have their own meaning relevant to everybody in this world. It could probably be a place we come across everyday, or some people whom we see everyday, or may be even some objects that we see everyday but do not notice. They are all a part of our journey and become attached to it. They leave an impact on us too, because unknowingly our journey gets crossed with theirs. Everybody is on a journey and at sometime, they are meant to be connected to ours.

Have you wondered when we are planning a vacation or going to some distant place, we get a lovely tingling feeling about the journey inside? And the beautiful part is when we literally spend time wondering about the plans to make it a journey worth the experience. We might keep discussing, planning with materialistic amenities or may even keep wondering about what else to be done; because we put all of our spirit into planning for the journey. And it is only while travelling to the destination that we experience the otherwise unnoticed joys of life. Ever wondered why the breeze from the window feels so soothing, as if that is the best companion ever, playing the strings of the soul and we wish that it remains the same way; or why the places that we see being seated at one place seem to be just meant for us, as if we can read the stories behind those places, as if we know all those places and have always lived there, as if they are our own in those moments of our journey, as if our whole journey is meant to revolve around them and would never end; or why we tend to be at peace and on our own when on a journey; or why in those moments of being away from the social world, we tend to explore ourselves more, be it with our lives or with our dreams or with our unanswered questions or with our dark aspects or with everything that was/is a part of us somewhere; or why sometimes the people we meet on a journey to our destination seem as if known since always, and we get beautiful memories or relations for lifetime; or why we feel as if at that moment we are connected more to the world beyond materialism, the one which we actually belong to, making us wonder about some very important things of our lives. Probably because those are the moments given to us for that purpose. And this beautiful feeling leaves its impact on our souls, but ends as soon as we reach our destination, because it was meant to be lived for that time. The consequences would remain but the moments may not, however their memories would. And this feeling can always be relived when we are on a journey again. May be when we are returning from a place, the memories of that place and all that we did will remain in our souls, but this feeling would be entirely different from the one we had while reaching the place earlier. It would be less of that previous excitement and enthusiasm and more of nostalgia, wishing to go back.

The same aspect connects to the ultimate journey of our lives, the one where we as humans, walk forth everyday, completely unaware of the situations or the people to come, the one where we travel everyday without being aware of the journey, but to find the reasons of our existence. We meet many people in this journey, live numerous moments, carry memories, learn lessons, live to ecstasy, cry to the core, and then? Then we continue on our journey; because we have to go further, alone. The journey is ours, only ours and nobody can live it for us. Actually, nobody can know us completely or live it for us. We are humans, we always have a part inside us, unknown to others. And it is not necessary to know that about anyone. What we need to do is just live the journey with others or with ourselves where they cross our ways, with our true passion and with those little joys of life which create moments to be carried wherever we go, no matter when. We will meet people who will teach us lessons, who might hurt us, who will be a blessing to us. Every person we meet influences the course of our journey in some way. While some of them might give a slight turn, others might touch our journey in a way that it gets deeply affected. Still, we have to continue further, being what we have become in our journey till now. And being that way, we carry a part of what those people, places and moments made us. In the end, we will always remember each and every part of this journey, owing it to all that happened, to all those who found us. And while on our journey, we might have influenced the journeys being pursued by others too. All we can do is bless the people we meet, give them the best of themselves by making them look inside to realize that they can make it up to the end beautifully, and leave them with memories too. At the end of their journeys, they will remember the ones who influenced them the most too, like we do. And by the time we really reach the end, we will realize that we have found the reason of our journey and existence; the aspect why we started it.                   

I travel everyday to find myself in this universe,

 I pursue my journey with the undying faith to reach the end,

 I live the people, places, moments to carry till there,

 And when I reach there, I will know why I travelled,

 In the end, I will be proud of this journey and contented too..."

We live exactly what we think!

The title would seem obvious to you. You might say 'Of course, what's new in that?' I don't intend to create a new theory indeed. It is just a common experience that goes unnoticed and I am trying to highlight its importance over here. Look at what you are doing right now, be it the smallest or the most insignificant act. Let's connect it with with what you might be doing right now and I will tell you how you are creating an attachment of your moments to come unknowingly.

I start with the same question again. Answer yourself- What are you doing right now? You would say you are reading or probably listening to songs or chatting right away or even chilling out at home. There could be anything that you are doing, but I am sure you are thinking about something too. Something for sure, be it very small or insignificant. Some thought exists at the back of your mind always. And unknowingly you are connecting the task that you are doing with that random thought. Say for instance, you are driving and in your subconscious mind, unknowingly, you have a very faint vision of a thought about your aspirations. It may not be dominant but you are surely thinking about it somewhere deep inside your heart. As soon as you are interrupted by something else while driving or if you reach your destination, that thought will also come to a hault, but it will remain in your mind. The next time when you drive, even if you are not at all thinking about your aspirations and there are other thoughts with which you are preoccupied, you will still have the thoughts about your aspirations revolving in your mind, even when you try to shed them off and concentrate your mind somewhere else, they will remain inside, and every time you drive, you will have a trace of them coming up to the surface. Each time you drive, the thoughts in your conscious or subconscious mind will get collected inside you, and will try to get revived when you do the same task again.

Now, how does that happen, you will wonder. Well, there's certainly no superpower involved but yes there is the magic of this universe that plays a role in this! Every time you think about something or do something, you are leaving traces in this universe. Traces of your thoughts, and those traces are being collected. They remain conserved here itself, around you. The task that you do while thinking about them sets itself on a frequency that matches every time you do it. Hence they are brought back to you when you do it again even if you are not trying to think about them. In fact, these are just instances of those unexplained reasons which you don't find when you experience this.

You don't realize but you are always leaving traces whenever you do anything. Be it anything. And that's why, sometimes, you might even tend to receive trace by others when you reach the same frequency of thoughts that they have left in their traces. That explains the coincidences between human beings experienced for the smallest of actions that go unnoticed. Yes, there is a lot in this universe that goes unnoticed and that you never tend to understand, leaving it as something obvious.

I am sure now you must be thinking that if such is the case, then is it possible that whatever you experience is a result of what you think. Yes is the answer. You are unconsciously creating the situations that you face in daily life. Even if they are negative at times, it is because you were wondering without noticing that something will go wrong and your fears start getting collected. The traces return to you in materialistic form. Do you realize what I am trying to say?

You are creating each step you take. It is in your mind, in your control. And with every task that you do, you are attaching the thoughts in your mind with them, which will come back to you when you do the task again. I think I am clear that what you need to is just feel good and do the best with everything that you do, because that is what will come back to you when you do it every time

And of course, I may be sounding the same, but as I always say, "Everything that happens has a reason, and your task is to wait and watch and you will find it. So if you believe, everything will fall in the right place, as you think in this cosmos, because it will remain and come back to you."