There's something in this heart...

(This one is not just for me but for every loved one and every  friend with whom i share even a single moment of my space, be it in reality or by abstract means...)

When I seem to be busy, too lost in myself

or when I pretend to be too drowsy,

when I seem too engrossed for another step of success,

when I don't even find a second  to sit and think for myself,

when there is too much going on outside that

never leaves a spare moment to relax and I feel..

though I don't have time but at last I know how to be busy....

believe me...even in that haphazard atmosphere,

something runs parallely and all I can say with a sigh....

there's something still on my mind....

and that's the reason why I can make out,

when anybody else does the same...

there's something beneath that cover of noise...

When I stand in a crowd with moments of glee,

when every minute seems to be perfect,

when I can see lights all around and the ecstasy gets reflected,

when I shout and scream partying around,

when it seems that's all I think at that moment....

believe me there's something else too....

yes, there's something unread in my eyes....

and that's the reason I find it when somebody else does the same...

When everybody around me is sad,

when I try to make them foget their pain,

when I tell them that they are strong enough to recover,

when it seems that I have recovered from my long lost wounds,

and have left them back there, strong enough to have walked till here,

when it seems that I have forgotten how people get hurt,

when I smile at them telling them to be happy,

assuring them that I am always there....

believe me I still remember everything....

I have just become this strong to say such words...

but there's something behind my words.....

and that's the reason I know when somebody else speaks..

When I sit relaxed with my loved ones,

when I really feel happy and don't say anything,

or when I don't find words to express my concern,

when I seem to be speechless for something,

when it seems that I am not interested in what's going on,

when I seem too lost in my own world....

believe me I know everything that's on...

and I am here itself...just pondering on what to do...

yes, there's something behind my silence....

and that's the reason I know what silence could mean...

When I laugh heartily at a joke,

when I smile at the innocence of things around me,

when I feel happy from inside,

when I seem to be lucky to have such a good time,

when I keep smiling unnecessarily,

believe me I am here itself...

just trying to cherish all that goes on....

for the time when I would miss all this....

wondering if I'll ever get this back...

yes, there's something behind my smile....

and that's the reason I know every smile says a lot...

When I seem to have changed so much,

from what I used to be....

when every perception of mine seems strange and unusual,

when I seem to be normal and everything seems quiet,

or when things are too swift and I seem careless about them,

when I seem to be at a stupid ease without any sense of understanding...

believe me I am still the same and know everything...

but not sure of what to express for that moment,

I may be too happy or too mournful....

I may be scared about my worst dreams....

I may be too hurt and may be thinking of my desired possessions...

or about the consequences of what I do for myself....

I may be missing my lost dreams and thinking of how to get them back...

I may be busy in treasuring the moments I have now...

but surely I know....every moment deep inside along with everything outside...

there's something else that's unrevealed in my heart....

and that's why I know every heart is too deep to be known....

I am Still Understanding it...

Each day life gave me a new lesson, each day I learnt that i wasn't perfect,

in knowing what life could be, and yet each day i realised,

there was much I'd learnt, yet, still more I had to learn,

I happened to sit and gaze at that distant tree that i saw everyday as it grew,

I noticed that it had seen everything, and though it was still the same,

it had changed and learnt, that the changes had to come,

though they came through pain and suffering.

I saw that wall of my terrace, which grew older each day,

and though it was still the same, it had changed in every aspect too,

through its faded appearance, it reflected that it had learnt a lot,

again by losing tears and shedding some moments.

I went through those old books, that i used to read in Kindergarten,

I knew I had learnt a lot since then,but I wished I learnt it again.

It seemed that my first lesson, had been the best one I'd ever got.

The first lesson that I learnt in life, was to be innocent,

to close my eyes and live for the dream i saw,

just because God was with those who were true.

Day by day I realised again,that this wasn't exactly true,

I learnt something each day that was new.

The last lesson that life gave me till now, was to live in reality,

to undergo changes and to know that it was needed for me,

although I realised that even this wasn't perfectly true.

Sometimes i wonder, if the last lesson that i learnt, should have been my first one,

why it happened and i changed through pain,

but then i close my eyes and realise, that even changes could not change the whole of me,

I learnt from my mistakes, and though it hurt, but the memories I got made me joyous,

yes it was all necessary step by step for me to stand and face everything,

and one thing that i found common in that first and last lesson,

was to have faith in God or myself, to believe and walk till all my dreams came true.

Yes it happened with all of us,that ironically we travel in between those two lessons,

and then we realise there's still lots to learn.....

Yes I colud just wipe my tears and smile at myself, and stand up again to walk,

I could just say, "I am still learning, yeah , I am still understanding life.........."

/* I know this will never stop, and even till my last breath I would say the same,

"Yeah, I am still understanding life..........."  */

A Rendezvous with Yourself is all that you need...

The title might make you think what is the sudden need for a rendezvous with yourself. After all, seldom do you get time to talk to your near and dear ones; how, then, talking to yourself would help you; why should you spare time for this. Sometime back, I thought the same. At times in life, you continue going on with the flow, as life brings opportunities. After having faced setbacks, you plan to take turns as they come and adapt yourself to them. You would even enjoy doing your tasks probably. However, from inside, you'll feel that something is missing from your spirit of giving yourself.

At times, it may happen that you feel empty, despite being complete in your life. There is an unexplained mist that surrounds your soul. You know that you need to do something about it, but you cannot understand the problem, because you feel you have everything already. It is the point where you need to wait and watch, to have a rendezvous with yourself, to know whether what you have is really what you wanted always. Life is about taking decisions everyday, from choosing the right kind of food to deciding the fate of a nation. Everyone has to make choices. It is only the matter of choices that differentiates one human being from another. Only choices that create differences in perceptions and lifestyles between known people too.

There is a very famous line from Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken' that we all must have read-

"Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I took the one less travelled by,

and that has made all the difference"...

Try it out sometime for sure- when you feel lost, frustrated and empty from inside, just do one thing. Go out for a walk with yourself. When you walk on a beach in the evening, or stand in your garden feeling the breeze on your face, it will surely make you meet yourself, the one you had been missing out till now. Once you have found yourself, you will realize those unsaid words, the forgotten desires, your unspoken wishes and some more that you might have walked away from, in the course of time. A wave of joy will surely make you take that single step needed to create a difference and stand apart from the world, where you will see yourself as never before.

Human mind is driven by what it sees. It is a general phenomenon that you might get illusioned by some charms that attract you for sometime. In the end, you will come to know that the real thing was always inside you, but you ignored it. You got so preoccupied with the world that you'd forgotten yourself. You never looked back to your roots to know yourself. However, the day you sit back and think of it, you'll know that it is all about the peace that your heart can give to you, once you promise to listen to it and follow the right thing that it tells you to do. It is always better to hold on to something that does not make you feel drained out, hurt or frustrated, because if nothing in this world is permanent, then you have no right to deprive yourself of the dreams that you can make true by merely following them.

Go on and live the dream that you really want to live.